Vicious Rants of an Angry Yellow Man

With the news today that Joe the Plumber is running for office in Ohio, it reminds me of my blog from Oct. 2008, right before the last presidential election. You remember Joe the Plumber? His first name was not really Joe and he was not a licensed plumber. The Republicans tried to use him against Obama and he eventually became a supporter of the Tea Party. I don't know if he will win but it reminded me of the blog about all the different types of Joes that Obama and McCain could have used in their campaign. I noticed that the number 9 is being used during this campaign. You have Cain's 9-9-9 plan and Romney's 59 steps and the Wall Street Occupiers claiming they are the 99% of the population. Don't forget that the unemployment rate is stuck at around 9% for a long time now. Coincidences? I think not. Obama and McCain did not use my Joe ideas but maybe the Republican candidates today will try some of my number 9 ideas:

Michele Bachmann will try to get a vp nomination by saying that John Adam was helped by a woman called 99. I don't think she will Get Smart and know it was Don Adam.

Rick Santorum and Jon Huntsman will be dialing 911 soon because their campaigns are dying.

Michele Bachmann will demand equal opportunity to play because of Title IX.

In trying to get the Canadians who became naturalized citizen to vote, a candidate will claim that he is the Great One of politics, old number 99.

Romney, whose family is from Michigan, will say that he is the really Mr. Hockey by claiming jersey #9, worn by Gordie Howe.

Ron Paul will claim that he is so frugal that he does all his shopping at 99 cent stores.

Football is king in Texas but Rick Perry will declare that he likes baseball better because it is played by 9 players a side over 9 innings.

Perry will also claim that Texas is so powerful that he is responsible for gas prices always ending in .99 cents.

Cain will start offering 9 topping pizzas for $9.99 from Godfather's Pizza. It is an offer you can't refuse unless you want a horse head on your bed.

Romney will try to get rid of his Mormon image by singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall".

John McCain will get back into the race by claiming he has 9 lives.

In trying to get the Hispanic vote, a candidate will try to get the football player Ocho Cinco to change his name to Nueve Nueve.

There are 8 Republican candidates. At the end of the primary season the Republicans will likely wish there was a #9: Chris Christie.