I was outraged when Dharun Ravi was convicted in bullying Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide. Yes, it was invasion of privacy, a very stupid thing that Ravi did. But to be treated as a criminal? After watching his interview on 20/20, I am more convinced that he did not intend maliciousness toward Clementi. He never broadcast any sex tape on the internet as was alleged in the media when the case first came out. He sent an e-mail apologizing to Clementi and wanted to stay as his roommate. This does not seem like an action of an anti-gay person.
Unfortunately, Clementi probably never read the e-mail. This is an example of how new technology allowing people to communicate without talking to each other actually hurt. Both Ravi and Clementi read each other's tweets. But they hardly talked to each other, even after the incidence had occurred. If they had just talk instead of looking at tweets and sending e-mail, maybe this tragedy would have been avoided.
What Ravi did what stupid. But what 18 year old does not do stupid things? I doubt it that Clementi killed himself over this. It was reported in 20/20 that he was depressed before this. There was also a note that was found. Was it a suicide note? Would it help to understand his state of mind? That was not possible because the prosecution did not give it to the defense. That was one possible area of appeal.
What about the 30 year old that was Clementi's partner. He was shielded by the prosecution for his identity. I don't think that a 30 year old who had sex with an 18 year old should be excluded in the discussion of the suicide. Was Clementi more depressed because this older man had used him and then dumped him? I don't know but if a 30 year man had sex with an 18 year old woman and then the woman committed suicide shortly after, I am sure everybody, including the woman's parents, would find him very creepy.
I had wondered why Ravi did not take the plead deal where he would get probation and community service but no jail time. Turns out he would have to admit that he did all these because he was anti-gay. Ravi would rather take the chance with jail time than admit something that is not true. I don't know if that was a smart thing to do, but now I certainly respect his decision.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
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Well, nobody really knows why Clementi committed suicide. The only thing we know is that he was depressed. To me, it sounds like he was depressed before the incident, so you can say that he was on the verge of committing suicide before and maybe the incident pushed him over the edge.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea if he had come out of the closet or not, but I would venture to guess that he had felt guilty about being gay and ashamed of it. So when these things come to life like they did, it probably magnified the feelings of guilt and shame.
Now, I am not a psychologist, nor do I play one on TV, so this is just my guess.
Do I think that Ravi should be held accountable for his actions? Most likely yes. The invasion of privacy is a no brainer. But did he actually kill Clementi? That's the big question. And to be honest, I don't know.
I do know that bullying has become this hot topic in our society. I'm not saying it shouldn't be, but this is a case where Ravi did the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Maybe if he had done this a few years ago, things might be different. He has shown remorse, but at the same time, he did tweet or text someone that he found out his roommate was gay and laughed about it.
I have no idea if the guy is anti-gay or not. But these type of "crimes" are fairly new to our society and I don't know if there's a right or wrong in this.
What about the lady who posed as a teen on Facebook and said bad things to the girl who then committed suicide?
It's almost the same thing but there was clear motive in that case.
I guess what I'm saying is that we're so sensitive about bullying right now, that Ravi will be made an example of.
So, what do you think of this Trayvon Martin murder? Pretty tough call here too. I don't know who to believe, but my theory has always been, that if you shoot that gun and you take a life, then you have to be responsible. The question is whether it was in self defense or not.
Seems like Zimmerman was given the benefit of the doubt and now things are getting to a boiling point.
Onto more important things...I predict that Jaleel White will win this season's Dancing with the Stars, though I am still rooting for the beautiful Maria Menounos.
-LBAYM
I think Clementi had come out to his parents for sure and they seemed accepting. But even with accepting parents, it is difficult to be gay. This thing may have tip him over the edge but I don't think it can be the main reason. I think a fair punishment for Ravi besides probation would be to go around to student groups to talk about sensitivity to others and the dangers of using cyberspace without thinking. He is a very articulate young man and can call attention to these problems. I think this would do more good than having this young man go to jail where he may get raped and ruin the rest of his life.
ReplyDeleteI read a blog by a black journalist who said that when he went to Yale, his white roommate kept playing this song with the N word in the title. He thought that was insensitive but did not think of calling the police to report a crime. Eventually after spending a year together where they talked to each other frequently, they became life long friends. As I mentioned, if Clementi and Ravi had actually talked to each other, maybe this tragedy could have been avoided.
What happened to that case with the lady pretending to be a teen? Certainly that was way worse than this. That was bullying using false identity. And by a much older person. If she did not get convicted, then how can Ravi be convicted?
There are a lot of unanswered questions in the Martin case. It may be that Martin punched Zimmerman first as Zimmerman's side say now. But why is a neighborhood watch person carrying a gun? The gun people would say that guns protect and if Zimmerman had no gun, he may have been killed. But if he did not have a gun, Zimmerman would not have approached Martin if he felt threatened. The 911 tape showed that the dispatcher told him to not follow Martin but wait for the police. If trained cops being accused of killing innocent people is not an uncommon occurrence, why do we trust untrained people with guns?
By the way, I heard that in both Rutgers case and the Martin case, the laws supposedly say that if you feel threatened, then you are threatened. This makes no sense to me. If I don't like someone, I can attack that person and then say that I felt threatened? I think with these laws and our love for guns, we are getting less civilized. Someday we may be back in the wild wild west!
I think White should dance with his suspenders pulled up and wear thick glasses. Otherwise who is going to remember who he is? I think that opera singer from the UK, Katherine something, is by far the best and is also beautiful. The only thing is, does anyone know her in this country?