Vicious Rants of an Angry Yellow Man

It is amazing that we have this exciting sport event in our country with millions of people watching world wide. And this year's event is bigger and more dramatic than all other years. Yes, I am talking about the Ballot Bowl. (CNN's phrase) While I liked this year's Super Bowl, I find Super Tuesday more exciting and interesting. The following are some lame observations I have about this historic day.

It is an advantage to be on the west coast for sporting events, whether it is MNF, the World Series or the election. By the time I get home from work MNF just got started and I can watch the whole game before going to bed. Last night I got home for the east coast result and stayed up till Calif's winners were announced. Most of the people in the east would have gone to sleep way before that. Of course even we didn't get the American Samoa results. Not even today!

Home field advantage is more important in elections than sports. Romney lost almost everywhere except where he lived: Mich, Mass, and Utah. Clinton won NY but also Arkansas even though she denounced it to run in NY. Obama won Illinois but also Kansas because his mother was from there. By this reasoning Shawn Kemp should run because he has fathered children in all 50 states.

John McCain must have made up with the conservatives to be winning so easily. I mean Rush Limbaugh with his 11 million or so listeners must have turned out for him or how else did he beat two conservatives? What? Limbaugh is against McCain? You mean he is like Ann Coulter?

Speaking of Ann Coulter, I think I remember seeing someone looking exactly like her at the Democratic convention in 1968. She sure looks like a woman's liber. She said that if McCain is the nominee then "Hillary is our girl." Sounds like something a person from NOW may say. The woman in 1968 was a McCarthy liberal and was so angry that Humphrey won that she vowed not to support the Democratic nominee. As a result Nixon won and the Democrats were in disarrayed. I am sure the Democrats would be happy to be receiving the gift this year.

Buy your cigars for the smoke filled rooms in Denver in August. The Democratic nomination will be decided then. Bring out the old time party bosses and mafia for this. In the interest of political correctness (not wanting to offend blacks and women), the Democrats are declaring both Clinton and Obama winners of Tuesday. She won more votes, he won more states. As far as the delegates are concerned, nobody has an exact count. Their formula to distribute the delegates are intentionally confusing so that nobody can figure it out. This way they can do a poll in August and see who is most popular in the country and then give the nomination to that person without worrying about how many delegates he or she has. Get it?

Nobody noticed this but Obama lost Calif. not because of whites, half of whom voted for him, nor because of Hispanics, 40% of whom voted for him. He lost because Asians voted 70-30 against him in Calif. Could it be that Asians are more prejudiced than whites and Hispanics? I don't want Asians to be considered racists so I am volunteering my services to help Obama. For example I would change Obama's name. Chinese have trouble with foreign names. They probably confused Obama's middle name Hussein with that of a certain Iraqi dictator. That is not good. I would change it to Dentzel Washington. It reminds everybody of George and Dentzel is very popular among pirated movies in China. So popular that they confuse him with Will Smith on the cover of the box sometimes. So by using the name Washington there are 3 chances for name recognition and that will beat Hillary whom people are confused with Bill.

Until I get the call from the Chinese Olympic team or the Obama campaign, I'll look forward to Saturday's sporting events.